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When you hear the term “toxic relationship,” you may think about an ex-partner, your parents, a sibling or an old roommate. But you can have toxic relationships with people in your professional life, too, or even with your job or career as a whole.
Toxic work relationships don’t have to do with your authority, role, where you work or your regular schedule. They have to do with how your job or colleagues make you feel on a regular basis.
While you know that some weeks on the job are easier than others, you may find yourself wondering whether what you’re doing is right or if it’s time to find something else to do. Of course, changing jobs carries its own risks and hassles.
So how do you distinguish between when you just need a little time to unwind and when it’s time to start seriously looking for other positions?
1. You’re always drained, never energized
Even if you expend more energy than you get back, you should get something for your time. Being physically tired doesn’t mean you have to be mentally drained, and the other way around. Is your job drawing on your energy in every way without giving you energy in any way?
If you’re constantly looking for ways to self-soothe outside of work, it could be that you feel beaten up by your job. Another expensive outfit or a big, greasy meal isn’t going to fix your toxic work relationship, though. You should be getting at least some comfort from the job itself.
2. You often feel stressed and tired
Do you find you’re dragging your feet on the commute to work, and are lacking the spring in your step that you once had? Are you finding your sleep being interrupted regularly and that you’re becoming prone to bouts of irritability or low spirits?
Any of these could be symptoms of rising stress levels – which can be an early warning sign that things aren’t quite as they should be. Stress can affect your mood and your immune system, making you more susceptible to becoming sick, and impairing performance; left unchecked, more serious health issues can develop too.
So, if you’re getting the feeling that your body is trying to tell you something, it’s worth taking a moment to try and understand the message.
3. You dread going to work
It can be easy to relate to an ‘I hate Mondays’ meme, even if you like your job. But this is more than that. When Sunday evening rolls around, how are you feeling about work the next day? Are you indifferent, or does the idea of sitting down in that office fill you with feelings of stress or dread?
If you spend Sundays dreading the week ahead rather than relaxing, or feel dread before every shift, it could be time to look at why – and what you can change.
4. You have no work-life balance
Does it feel like you spend every waking minute working, or thinking about work? Do you no longer have time to catch up with friends or do the things you enjoy?
Balance can be a tricky concept to achieve sometimes. But it’s important that you’re able to switch off, spend time with friends or family, or just enjoy being who you are outside of work.
5. You don’t feel valued
When you don’t feel your input is valued, then your work can become less fulfilling. These two issues are clear signs it’s time to make a change in your present situation.
One of the underlying components of healthy relationships is about being appreciated. If you do not feel your contributions at work are important, recognized, and respected, you might want to consider moving on.
6. You feel more negative than positive
If you find yourself complaining, feeling negative or most often focused on what’s not working, then it’s a sure sign it’s time to consider a change.
Here’s why: If you stay, feel underappreciated, underpaid and undervalued, those negative feelings will expand and impact your performance, relationships and reputation. Get clear on your next move, take steps towards it and focus on your future.
If you find yourself complaining more often to friends and family about your job, or people close to you have noticed a negative change in your mindset when it comes to work, something has to change.
7. You can’t do anything right
Do you feel like you’re always getting it wrong? Maybe you’re not cut out for this job. Maybe your employers didn’t do a good job of communicating what’s expected or what your purpose is. Or, maybe you work with people who are never satisfied.
Do what’s in your power to do – go over your job requirements and goals with your boss, assess the value you bring to the company, etc. If this still doesn’t improve, though, you may have to accept that it’s out of your power.
8. You don’t have clear communication
Being passive-aggressive is a replacement for being clear and to the point. In business relationships, there’s no room for skirting around the issue. You should be comfortable and confident enough to communicate clearly, and you should feel that the other person will respond in a clear and professional way, too.
Does your boss reprimand you in front of your coworkers or people you’re in charge of? Do your team members belittle you in front of a crowd? You’re in a toxic relationship.
9. Your work atmosphere is hostile
The random bad day at work is bound to strike – some days, it’ll feel like nobody is getting along. But if that’s happening most days or every day, there’s something deeply wrong with the workplace.
You shouldn’t have to be in a hostile work environment, feel scared to walk into work or worry that someone’s anger is going to lash out any minute. And you should never feel unsafe at work.
Hostility can range from low key negativity to thinly-veiled disrespect to obvious, noticeable threats. All of it is toxic. Maybe the hostility is directed just at you or maybe everyone is hostile to one another – either way, it stinks, and it’s not an environment that promotes success.
10. Your job is regularly threatened
Employers need a good reason to fire you, and you shouldn’t feel like your job is always up in the air. Employers shouldn’t hold your job hostage – doing so is emotional blackmail. If you’re worried that everything you do or don’t do puts your job in jeopardy, you won’t want to show up at all.
You should never be scared to leave a toxic employer or be bullied into thinking that leaving is ‘losing’ or ‘giving up’ either. If you love what you do but hate where you’re doing it, don’t be afraid to cut ties.
11. You Are Reading This Article
If you’ve found your way here – this in itself could be a sign that you’re looking for reasons to make a change.
Remember, there isn’t a relationship in the world that’s 100% perfect 100% of the time. But imperfect and toxic are different. You can tolerate the first, but you have to fix (or leave) the latter. That’s where we come in.
Click ‘Contact Me’ above to get in touch with one of our recruitment experts about your next career move.
Sources:
https://www.robertwalters.com.au/career-advice/6-signs-it-is-time-to-change-jobs.html
https://www.seek.com.au/career-advice/article/7-signs-its-time-for-change
https://www.elegantthemes.com/blog/business/are-you-in-a-toxic-relationship-with-your-job
https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/09/19/12-clear-cut-signs-its-time-for-you-to-change-jobs/?sh=585150236c91
Published on: 07/04/2021
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